How to Get Beyond the Tired: 10 Things to Do When You’re Tired of Being Tired

There’s tired.

And then there’s tired.

The kind where someone asks what you want for dinner and you genuinely feel like that question might be the thing that sends you over the edge.

The kind where you wake up tired, pour coffee into your tired body, spend the entire day doing things for other people, and finally crawl into bed… only to realize your brain apparently scheduled a staff meeting for 11:47 p.m.

You’re tired of making decisions.

Tired of remembering everything.

Tired of figuring out what everyone needs.

Tired of the laundry.

Tired of the emails.

Tired of figuring out dinner.

Tired of driving everyone everywhere.

Tired of looking around your house and seeing 47 things you should probably be doing.

And sometimes?

You’re even tired of hearing yourself say how tired you are.

I get it.

But at some point, we have to stop accepting exhaustion as our permanent personality.

Because this is supposed to be our life too.

Not just the life we're managing for everyone else.

So if you've been living somewhere between I need a nap and I'd like to disappear into a hotel room by myself for approximately three business days, here are 10 things that might actually help.

1. Figure Out What Kind of Tired You Are

Before you try to fix your exhaustion, figure out where it's coming from.

Are you physically tired?

Mentally tired?

Emotionally tired?

Overstimulated?

Burned out?

Bored?

Lonely?

Running on five hours of sleep?

Doing too much for too many people?

Because those things don't have the same solution.

A nap might help physical exhaustion.

It probably isn't going to fix resentment.

Coffee might make you more awake.

It isn't going to fix a life where you never get five minutes to yourself.

Sometimes the first step isn't doing anything differently.

It's finally admitting:

"This is what is draining me."

2. Stop Treating Rest Like Something You Have to Earn

Why do women do this?

We tell ourselves we'll sit down after the laundry.

After the kitchen is clean.

After we answer the emails.

After we finish that one thing.

Except there's always another thing.

Your house is never going to stand up and announce:

"Congratulations. All household responsibilities have officially been completed. You may now relax."

You have to decide you're allowed to stop.

Sit outside for 15 minutes.

Read your book.

Watch an episode of something ridiculous.

Drink your coffee while it's actually hot.

Rest isn't a reward for finishing life.

It's part of being able to live it.

3. Find the Things That Are Quietly Exhausting You

Not everything draining you is obvious.

Sometimes it's the group text you don't want to be in.

The person who constantly needs something.

The clutter you stare at every day.

The volunteer commitment you agreed to six months ago.

The 72 notifications on your phone.

The constant scrolling.

The expectation that you should respond immediately to everyone.

There are tiny leaks in our energy all day long.

Find yours.

Then start plugging them.

Mute the chat.

Unfollow the account.

Say no to the thing.

Clean the one counter that makes you crazy.

Stop being available every second of every day.

Protecting your energy doesn't require completely changing your life.

Sometimes it just requires closing a few tabs.

Literally and figuratively.

4. Stop Making Everything a Decision

Decision fatigue is real.

What are we eating?

Who's driving?

What do we need from the store?

What am I wearing?

When am I working out?

What's for lunch tomorrow?

Did somebody feed the dog?

By 6 p.m., someone asks me one more question and I'm tempted to respond:

"I have officially retired from knowing things."

Make parts of your life boringly predictable.

Have five easy dinners you rotate.

Eat the same couple of breakfasts.

Keep a basic grocery list.

Have designated laundry days.

Put recurring things on the calendar.

Create routines for the things you're constantly deciding.

You don't need to optimize every part of your life.

Sometimes you just need fewer decisions.

5. Do One Thing Every Day That Gives Something Back to You

This doesn't have to be a bubble bath.

Unless you love bubble baths. Then absolutely go for it.

But ask yourself:

What actually makes me feel more like myself?

Maybe it's walking outside.

Gardening.

Reading.

Music.

Working out.

Sitting in your car alone for ten glorious minutes before going inside.

Calling the friend who makes you laugh.

Writing.

Painting your nails.

Watching trash television that requires absolutely no intellectual participation.

Whatever it is, put something into your day that gives you energy instead of constantly taking it.

Because if every single thing you do is for someone else, eventually you're going to wonder where you went.

6. Make Your Body's Basic Needs Non-Negotiable

This is the unsexy part.

You cannot consistently run a human body on caffeine, random bites of your kids' food and determination.

Eat.

Drink water.

Move your body.

Get outside.

Take your medications.

Go to the appointments you've been putting off.

And please—if you're exhausted all the time even when you're giving yourself enough opportunity to sleep, talk to your healthcare provider.

Sometimes "I'm just tired" isn't just tired.

Things like sleep problems, anemia, thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies, medication effects and other medical conditions can show up as persistent fatigue.

You deserve to know whether there's something else going on.

7. Stop Carrying Things Other People Can Carry

Some of us aren't tired because there's too much to do.

We're tired because we're doing things other people could be doing.

Your partner can make the appointment.

Your teenager can wash their uniform.

Your kids can pack their bags.

Someone else can bring the snacks.

Another parent can volunteer.

Your family can occasionally figure out what to eat without a formal presentation from you.

Delegating doesn't mean standing next to someone explaining exactly how you would do it.

Hand it over.

Let them do it differently.

Let them occasionally do it badly.

The goal isn't perfection.

The goal is for you to stop being the unpaid project manager of the entire universe.

8. Give Yourself Something to Look Forward To

Exhaustion feels heavier when every day looks like:

Wake up.

Work.

Kids.

Chores.

Dinner.

Cleanup.

Bed.

Repeat.

Put something on the calendar that is just because you want it there.

Coffee with a friend.

A date.

A beach day.

A new book arriving.

Dinner somewhere you love.

A Saturday morning with absolutely nowhere to be.

It doesn't have to be expensive.

It doesn't even have to be big.

Humans need anticipation.

Sometimes knowing something good is coming makes the ordinary days feel a little lighter.

9. Put Your Phone Down Sometimes

I know.

The irony of possibly reading this on your phone isn't lost on me.

But sometimes we think we're resting because we're sitting on the couch scrolling.

Meanwhile our brains are taking in:

Someone's vacation.

Someone's perfect kitchen.

Breaking news.

A mom whose children apparently eat organic vegetables without complaining.

An argument between strangers.

A house we suddenly think ours should look like.

A body we're comparing ours to.

And seventeen things Amazon thinks we desperately need.

That's not always rest.

Sometimes that's just exhaustion with Wi-Fi.

Give your brain some actual quiet.

Even 20 or 30 minutes.

No input.

No comparison.

No one needing an answer.

Just be where you are.

10. Stop Waiting for Life to Calm Down

This one might be the most important.

Because I spent a long time thinking:

Once we get through this week…

Once soccer season ends…

Once the kids are older…

Once this project is finished…

Once things settle down…

Then I'll take care of myself.

Then I'll slow down.

Then I'll enjoy things.

Except life doesn't really work like that.

One busy season ends and another one shows up wearing a different outfit.

So maybe the goal isn't creating a perfectly calm life.

Maybe it's learning how to feel alive inside the life you already have.

Drink the coffee outside.

Turn the music up while you're making dinner.

Laugh with your husband.

Sit on your kid's bed a little longer.

Leave the dishes until morning sometimes.

Say no.

Go to bed.

Buy the flowers.

Take the picture.

Take the walk.

Make the plan.

Cancel the plan.

Whatever you need.

Because you don't have to wait until you're less busy to start enjoying your life.

You're Allowed to Want More Than Survival

Mama, I know you're tired.

I know some seasons ask more from us than others.

And maybe right now you can't eliminate everything that's exhausting you.

But you can start noticing what's draining you.

You can stop carrying things that were never yours to carry.

You can create little pockets of quiet.

You can feed yourself before 3 p.m.

You can ask for help.

You can protect your time.

You can do things simply because they make you happy.

And little by little, you can stop feeling like you're merely surviving your own life.

Because remember:

Beautiful lives aren't found. They're built… one small step at a time.

And sometimes that next small step is simply deciding:

I don't want to be this tired anymore.

Your turn:

What is ONE thing that's making you tired right now that you could change, delegate, stop doing, or do differently this week?