Relationship Goals… The Real Version
Let’s be honest.
Social media has opinions about relationship goals:
✨ candlelit dinners
✨ perfectly timed vacations
✨ coordinated outfits
✨ aesthetic coffee dates
And don’t get me wrong — those things are cute.
But if that’s the only definition of a “good relationship,” a lot of very healthy love stories are getting overlooked.
Because real relationship goals?
They’re not always pretty.
They’re practical.
They show up when the vibe is off.
The Aesthetic Version of Relationship Goals
We’ve all seen them:
Fancy dinner dates
Surprise gifts “just because”
Weekend getaways
Instagram-worthy moments
These things are fun. They matter. They add sparkle.
But they’re not what keeps a relationship steady when life gets heavy.
The Real Version of Relationship Goals
This is the part that doesn’t always make it online.
✨ Dinner Dates
vs
✨ Sitting with you after a terrible day and letting you vent without fixing. While going out to dinner sounds amazing in theory, kids sports, crappy boss, no sleep can make it seem daunting. Sometimes, my best dinner dates with my husband was wine after dinner, after kids went to bed, and we talked about our day, we laughed, we vented, and we just appreciated each other. No makeup and high heels needed. Just your mate, your best friend.
✨ Surprise Gifts
vs
✨ Remembering how you take your coffee when you’re overwhelmed. I have to say, I am spoiled….Joshy makes my coffee most days and it means more than anything. Something so small but allows me to wake up slowly and comfortably. It says “I love you enough to get out of bed first and fight the cold house to bring you coffee in bed.” LOL.
✨ Romantic Getaways
vs
✨ Taking responsibility during hard conversations instead of shutting down. Romantic getaways are not always fun when there are things that have been weighing on your mind. And in reality, with kids and busy schedules, getaways are hard to come by.
✨ Cute Couple Photos
vs
✨ Choosing patience when stress makes things messy. Reality is, it is so easy to put the relationship on the back burner for everything else that comes up in life. We take our most important relationship for granted at times, but it needs work and attention like anything else.
✨ Big Gestures
vs
✨ Consistency on ordinary Tuesdays. One of our biggest things that we do is cooking together. He usually barbeques, I do the sides. Not every day but most and it helps us take the pressure off one person to have to do it all day in and day out.
Real Love Isn’t Always Aesthetic — It’s Supportive
Real relationships are built in the unglamorous moments:
showing up tired
staying present when it’s uncomfortable
listening instead of defending
choosing connection over ego
That kind of love doesn’t always photograph well — but it lasts.
Let’s Talk About Effort (Because This Matters)
Effort isn’t about how impressive something looks.
It’s about how safe it feels.
Anyone can plan a date.
Not everyone can:
apologize sincerely
communicate clearly
show emotional maturity
stay engaged when things aren’t easy
Those are the real flexes.
The Truth About “Goals”
A relationship doesn’t need to be perfect.
It needs to be mutual.
The real goal is:
✨ feeling supported
✨ being able to be honest
✨ knowing someone shows up even when you’re not at your best
If your relationship does that?
That’s not boring.
That’s solid.
Final Thought
Dinner dates are fun.
But the real goal?
✨ Someone who stays when the day falls apart.
✨ Someone who chooses you without needing an audience.
✨ Someone who shows up — consistently.
That’s the kind of love worth wanting.
Xo, Janthina
P.S. Real-Life Date Ideas (Low-Key, Zero Pressure, Actually Doable)
Because not every date needs a reservation, a babysitter, or a cute outfit.
Coffee + Check-In Date
Grab coffee (at home or out) and ask:
“What’s been good lately?”
“What’s been heavy?”
“How can I support you better this week?”
Simple. Intentional. Surprisingly connecting.
Walk & Talk
A walk around the neighborhood, the beach, or a park.
No phones. No agenda.
Movement makes hard conversations feel easier.
Couch Date Night
Pick a show or movie.
Make popcorn.
Sit close.
Actually watch it together.
Bonus points for letting the other person choose.
Breakfast-for-Dinner Night
Easy food. No pressure.
Music on. Pajamas encouraged.
Connection doesn’t need candlelight — it needs presence.
Music Swap Night
Each of you plays 3 songs:
one you love
one that reminds you of them
one that matches your current mood
Talk about why you chose them.
Weekly Reset Date
Sit down with your planners or calendars and:
review the week
plan one thing to look forward to
check in emotionally
This one builds real teamwork energy.
Ice Cream or Dessert Run
No big plans. Just a quick outing.
Sometimes 20 minutes together is all you need.
Sunset Moment
Sit outside.
No talking required.
Just be in the same moment.
Quiet counts too.
✨ Why These Dates Matter
They don’t look impressive online.
They feel grounding in real life.
And when connection is easy to schedule, it actually happens.
